


Up and Down

by SquigglyAverageJoe



Series: VVV [1]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Abusive Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Explicit Language, Physical Abuse, Relationship(s), Trapped In Elevator, Valentino & Velvet & Vox Friendship (Hazbin Hotel), Velvet Ships Her Friends Together, Victim Blaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:41:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29303652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquigglyAverageJoe/pseuds/SquigglyAverageJoe
Summary: ”I couldn’t agree with you more, babydoll,” Valentino said, shooting a flat look at Vox. “But it’s not my fault Vox can’t communicate.” He shifted on his feet, tucking his phone back in his pocket. “Plus, those power outages he causes every time he gets mad are really taking away some valuable time. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to work without electricity, baby—you’re lucky I have enough money to get a good enough generator for your little temper tantrums, or else we’d be takin’ the—“The elevator came to a sudden halt, the lights above flickering. “...stairs.”—————Vox and Valentino gotissues—Velvet just wants to make her friends be happy.
Relationships: Valentino & Velvet (Hazbin Hotel), Valentino/Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Velvet & Vox (Hazbin Hotel)
Series: VVV [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2152299
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Up and Down

Another day, another fight between Valentino and Vox.

They lagged behind Velvet, arguing bitterly and violently—Angel Dust, at the end of the hallway froze when he heard Valentino’s voice, eyes wide with shock, which did briefly amuse Velvet enough to improve her mood, but he had been around long enough to know that, if you were a perfectly average demon, nothing was ever worth getting into the crossfires of a fight between two Overlords, like Valentino and Vox.

The good news was she was _not_ an average demon—the bad news was, Velvet was pretty sure Lucifer himself wouldn’t be able to make her friends quit fighting.

”Come on, you assholes, or you’ll have to wait for the next elevator,” she told them, leaned up against the wall, hand on the bar of the elevator—they’d been doing this for the whole morning, and it was getting on her nerves.

Valentino _looked_ like he was going to speed up, but Velvet knew better than to get her hopes up. ”Hurry the fuck up, Vox—those legs of yours are so short, take much longer, and I might just rip them off of you and make you crawl after me.”

”Just because I’m not _fx-fz-_ fucking ten feet tall, _Val,_ ” Vox sneered, barely a step behind Valentino, really, because they were _both_ moving slow. “Doesn’t mean I’m short.”

”Bet you’d be a lot shorter without them, baby.” He turned to him, lips curled in mock sympathy, peering behind the pink lenses of his glasses. “Don’t tempt me, Voxy.” He licked his teeth, eying his (ex?)boyfriend up and down like a meal. “You’d look cute that short, you’d be the _perfect_ height for me—give a man some _ideas_.” He put one hand at about his hip height, like he was trying to make it clear how short that would make Vox, and the idea of being taller than Vox was appealing enough to make her chuckle—Vox wasn’t nearly as amused as the two of them were.

”Good _lx-lz-_ luck getting a blowjob from me after _tx-tz-_ taking my fucking legs off—not like I can _use_ my _mx-_ mouth anyway.”

”Wouldn’t be _too_ difficult to fix, though,” Valentino mused—Velvet could never be sure if he meant the threats he used. He had yet to act on most of the... _colorful_ ones, but every time he said them, he looked like he was serious, so Velvet made of that what she would. “Your screen’s pretty fragile, Voxy, how difficult could it really be to put a nice hole where your mouth is?” He reached with one of his hands to trace a circle about where his animated grin was. “Bet it’d make you _really_ pretty, though—maybe you’d finally shut the fuck up.”

”You sure are a _chx-chz-_ charmer, Val,” Vox sneered. Velvet rolled her eyes—could they kiss and make up before they stepped into the elevator with her? She’d like that better. “Good thing you’re so charming, _bx-bz-_ because it almost fucking makes up for how _stz-_ stupid you are.” Valentino snarled, Vox continued, apparently not aware of his (screen’s) approaching fate. “You know that’d electrocute you, right? You _cx-cz-_ can’t just put holes in screens, and stick whatever you want in those holes—and _ax-az-_ after this conversation, you’re not going to be getting into any of my holes that _wx-wz-_ won’t electrocute you, so it’s a good thing you have four hands.”

What did he expect, Velvet wondered? Seriously, what did he expect? She saw it coming a mile away—Valentino’s fist slammed into the edge of his screen, making his head turn, and his screen crack. For a moment, Vox’s expression flickered out before it returned, only remaining eye wide, mouth drawn into a grimace from the pain, and briefly— _very_ briefly—Valentino seemed to look concerned about the pain Vox was in ( _dumbass,_ Velvet thought. _He’s always making Val hit him._ ) before going back his irritated expression.

And just like that, Vox made the pain disappear off of his expression, replaced with anger. “You _fx-fz-_ fucking jackass, you broke my screen for the second time this _wx-wz-_ week!”

”I thought I told you to _shut up_ , Voxy. How hard do I have to hit you to get you to do what I want?”

Probably harder than that. Vox had been hit _way_ harder than that and been just as mouthy. Angel Dust had opted for the stairs instead of risking sharing an elevator with them—and really, she couldn’t blame him. It would have been nicer to see Val bash his face in instead of Vox’s, but still—she couldn’t blame him.

But they were _so_ close to the elevator. They had stopped to continue their lover’s quarrel. “ _Thx-Thz-_ This is why I dumped your ass last night,” Vox hissed. “You are not _nx-nz-nearly_ hot enough to get away with this shit anymore!”

”Keep it up and I’ll take those legs, Vox,” Valentino said. “So you can come _crawling_ back to me like usual—mouth or no mouth, you look _good_ on your knees.”

”I have a _fx-fz-_ fucking mouth,” Vox said.

”Here, let me fix that, babe!”

Another morning she was gonna spend patching Vox’s screen up instead of on social media. God.

Vox’s cry of pain was not a pleasant noise. “You rat bastard,” he seethed.

”Oh, you’re still talkin’, beautiful? You look _so_ pretty with your face all smashed up, here—“ Another. “—oh, quit struggling, Daddy’s just makin’ you look better.”

Velvet crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m going to make you guys get a different elevator,” she told them, but they ignored her.

” _Fx-Fz-_ Fuck you!”

”I’m gonna make you _beg_ for me tonight in bed, babe—you’re gonna _wish_ you were fucking me later, now get your skinny ass in the elevator before I bend you over and slap it around.”

”I _cx-cz-_ can’t fucking _stand_ you anymore.”

”So fucking dramatic, Voxy.” He fixed his glasses. “If you can’t stand me, get on your _fucking knees then._ You need the practice, babe, for when I take off your legs.”

”My _knx-knz-_ knees are attached to my legs, fucker.”

”They won’t be if you keep it up.” Another hit to Vox’s screen, one enough to make him stumble and slam the back of his head into something that made his face glitch all over again. “Are you done, Voxy? Because I can do this all day, but I’m not sure how long your pretty little face can take this.”

Velvet wasn’t sure how hard that last one was in comparison to the rest, but it must have been harder, because it must have done more damage—which would explain why nothing Vox was saying was making any sense. “ _Fck—cx—Val—_ “

”Damn, can I break you like this, baby? Are you gonna shut up now before I find out?”

” _Mx-Mz-My_ _fx-fx-fx-fz-fucking fz-fz-face—“_

”Guess not then.”

Velvet sighed—she didn’t really want to see this. The elevator doors shut before she could see what was gonna happen (probably just Valentino hitting Vox some more), but she could still hear shouting as he elevator rose. They’d have to fucking wait, she guessed, and she’d just steal some licorice from Valentino for being an asshole today, she knew where he kept it in his desk.

It didn’t take long for the elevator doors to open again and she stepped out, sighing before going to Valentino’s office—the knob didn’t turn in her hand.

Fuck. Valentino must have locked it—meaning she’d have to wait for them to get back into the elevator, and come back up and for Valentino to unlock the door, and she probably wouldn’t be able to steal his licorice then. Goddamnit.

She should have stayed with them—at least then she’d have something to keep herself busy, even if it was get annoyed with them.

She pulled out her phone and looked at the thousands of likes on one of her most recent photos. As per usual, Vox and Valentino had been one of the first people to comment, both agreeing she looked amazing (Valentino had said it was a good thirst trap, Vox said her selfie game was somehow managing to still improve), but there was about a few million more.

She spent about ten minutes scrolling through social media before a chipper _ding!_ distracted her—the doors to the elevator opened.

Vox’s face was covered in a thousand white cracks, spiderwebbing over all of his features and Valentino had a single bruise on his jaw, but was clearly missing his glasses. Despite that, Vox’s back was pressed against a wall, his legs around Valentino’s hips and arms around his neck while the two of them viscously made out.

Watching the two of them make out was always weird (for many reasons) but she always got hung up on the fact that Vox’s face was completely flat, making it super difficult for him to really kiss Valentino, so instead, Valentino was kissing him, a pair of hands around his hips while the other tugged at Vox’s jacket, tie, and held the back of his head to keep him still. “Oh, that was fast,” Velvet said.

”Are you done being an asshole, Voxy?” Valentino asked, pulling away long enough to ask without just breathing the question into Vox’s shattered screen. “You’re not gonna piss me off any more today, are you?”

His voice had gotten worse. “ _Nx-Nx-Nx-_ No—“

“Shh...” Valentino pressed another kiss to his screen. “I love your flat little face, baby—you’re adorable when you shut the fuck up, you know that?” A hand went down his back, tracing over his spine. “So fuckin’ hot, Voxy, oh my fuck...”

Velvet pushed her phone back into her pocket. “Are you guys gonna make out in the elevator all day?” It wasn’t a rarity for them to all decide to hang out together, and for it to evolve, usually within the first hour, into a couple’s thing, so this was a genuine question.

They both ignored her. They were pressed so close together, Velvet wondered if they were trying still to somehow get closer to each other. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Valentino breathed, pressed a kiss somewhere on Vox’s neck. “ _Mm_ , we should do something about your face, huh? Can you see anything like this, baby?” He readjusted his grip on Vox’s hips, bringing them closer and higher.

Vox’s voice was laced with static, near impossible to understand. Val had _really_ fucked him up this time. _“Fx-Fc-Fz—“_ One of his hands moved to grip the collar of Valentino’s jacket. “ _Cx-Cx-Cx-Can’t—_ “

”Damn,” Valentino said. “That’s actually kind of hot, Voxy.”

”I’m really glad you guys are dating again,” Velvet said—and this time, they did turn to look at her. Vox’s face was a series of colors and cracks that did not resemble a face anymore, and Valentino looked kind of annoyed that she was interrupting him from presumably railing his boyfriend in the elevator. “But like, can you _not_ fuck in front of me?”

Valentino chuckled. “I’m sorry, babydoll—we aren’t dating again, you’re gonna have to wait for Vox to beg me to take him back after this.”

“ _—nx-nz-not bez-bex-bex-bex-begging y—“_ His voice glitched out. 

“We’ll talk later about this, babe.” He slid Vox’s hips against his, eliciting a whine from Vox. “You’re lucky you’re cute, Voxy—your face cut up my knuckles, I’m gonna get my blood all over your jacket.”

”So, you’re just gonna make out in the elevator?” She asked. “But you’re not dating. You’re just gonna make out with your ex in the elevator.”

” _Ez-Ez-Ez-Exactl-lx-lx-lz-ly—“_

”Baby, you’ve gotta stop talking, you’re giving me a headache.”

”— _thix-thiz-thiz-_ think y—“ His voice kept stopping and starting—Velvet did not blame Val for his headache, when every sentence Vox said seemed to somehow start mid sentence. “— _ave_ — _hx-hx-headache?_ My— _fx-fz-fz-fuck—_ face—“

”Shh...” Valentino kissed one of the cracks towards the middle of his screen. “What happened to that screen protector I bought you for our anniversary, baby? Why aren’t you wearin’ it now?” Another kiss to the edge of his screen—was that like, kissing someone’s jaw? Velvet couldn’t be sure, she’d have to ask Vox about this when he was able to speak and wasn’t dryhumping Valentino... She might be holding onto this conversation for awhile.

”Are you _trying_ to get me mad, Vox? Do you not like my gifts, baby, do you not _appreciate_ them?”

”— _Yx-Yx—“_

That must have sounded a bit too much like _Yes._ Valentino completely let go of Vox—startled by the lack of hands on him, Vox fell, his screen crashing against the floor and whatever left of his animated face glitching out. Valentino stepped over him and pressed a button before exiting the elevator. The doors slowly closed. Velvet and Valentino stared at each other for one, long minute as the elevator descended, taking their friend to what was probably the first floor. “That was kinda mean, Val,” Velvet said at last.

”I have licorice in my drawer with your name on it, babydoll.” He stepped towards the door.

It made her mood do a one eighty. “Between you and Vox, you’re my favorite.”

Slowly but surely, Vox’s voice was coming back as Velvet helped him patch up his screen. He was still missing about one and a half eyes (a real problem since, unlike some demons, he only had two and she only had two, and they did not like what they were seeing) and his mouth kept kind of flickering. “What were you guys even fighting about this time?” Velvet asked, tearing off another piece of tape.

”Vark ate a-a-a-a—“ His voice stammered a bit, and then stopped working all together before his words started making any sense and she could understand him or something. “—shoes or something, he was complaining on the drive here, remember?” He fixed his jacket, but couldn’t get rid of the wrinkles in his clothes as much as he tried to brush them off—how long had they been groping in the elevator before they stopped? “I’ll buy him a new pair and he’ll get over it.”

Velvet looked at a shard of glass missing from Vox’s face—the edges dug into her hands. All this over a pair of shoes? Well, maybe the argument had helped, but seriously, Valentino cared more about a single pair of shoes then Vox’s face? It was a nice face! They were three of the hottest people in Hell; maybe Valentino was trying to claim that title for himself, and was trying to make them less hot? ...Well, she didn’t have much to worry about, she was sure she could take Valentino in a fight and she was a thousand times hotter anyway. He had a lot of work to do to become hotter than her. “You should really train Vark better,” she told him. “I mean, this isn’t like, the first time he’s done something like that.”

”He just doesn’t _liz-lix-lix-_ like Val,” Vox said, already trying to tape another piece of his face back on. “I _jux-jux-juz-_ just try to keep the two of them _apaz_ -apart—if Val loses it whenever Vark _dez-dex-_ destroys a pair of shoes, I’d hate to _sx-sz-sz-sz-_ see what he does if Vark growls or snaps at _hi-hiz-hix-hix-_ him, or—God forbid— _attaz-attax-attacks_ him. Vark would _gx-gx-_ go for the throat, Val’d go for his gun.”

”I mean, wouldn’t it be kinda justified?” She got Vox loved his pet, but didn’t he love Valentino more? “I mean, if Vark attacked him—“

”Vark _knx-knx-knx-knx-knows_ that Valentino would shoot him if he did any _thz-thz-thx-_ thing to piss him off—he’d _lix-liz-liz_ -like Val a lot more if he _dix-dix-diz_ -didn’t think about shark-icide every time he stayed the _nx-nx-nz-_ night.”

”Give me some credit, Voxy.” Velvet glanced over at Val, on the phone a few yards away from them. “Your _pet_ ’s gone through at least two pairs of my boots by now, and I haven’t shot him _yet_.”

Vox turned to face him, expression cool, voice dull. He didn’t look angry, or irritated, just... _tired._ “I _knx-knx-_ know you hit him when I’m not _px-px-px-_ paying attention. Lay a _fx-fx-fz-_ finger on my _shx-_ shark and I’ll _tz-tz-tz-tz-_ tear it off and shove it _dx-dx-dz-_ down your _fx-fz-fx-_ fucking throat.”

Amused, Valentino rested his chin in one of his hands, looking him over, almost like he was admiring the cracks on his face. “That would have sounded much more menacing, love, if you didn’t _stx-stx-stammer_ over your words.” She saw Vox bristle at the imitation, and Val laughed. “You’re adorable.”

”It’s not a _stx-stammer_ ,” he said—Valentino laughed harder. “Fucking _bax-baz-bax-_ bastard, it’s your _fux-_ fucking fault it’s so _baz-_ bad right now.”

”Oh, keep talkin’, babe, it’s cute. You know I like your stutter.”

”It’s _nz-_ not a stutter, _jaz-jax-_ jackass!” Valentino was still laughing. “I can’t _help_ _iz-ix-ix-_ it!”

”I’m just sayin’, Voxy.” He lit a cigar and crossed his ankles, still amused. “Do you not like it when I compliment you anymore?”

” _Nx-Nz-_ No, I just don’t like it when you _ax-az-_ act like a rat bastard.”

Pink smoke drifted through the gaps in Val’s teeth as he leaned back in his chair—Velvet wondered when they were gonna make up and things would go back to normal, even though, at this point, this was already pretty normal. “Watch your mouth, babe. You know I don’t like it when you call me a bastard.”

” _Yz-_ You know I don’t like it _wx-_ when you call me ‘babe.’” He grabbed another piece of his shattered screen and tried to figure out where it fit on the jig saw puzzle his face had become—Velvet readjusted her grip on the mirror in her hand, the size of a dinner plate. “ _Lx_ -Least I _az-_ act like an _adult_ , but if you don’t want me to _cz-cx-_ call you a bastard, you should quit _ax-ax-_ acting like one.”

”Baby,” Val said. “ _Enough_. You’re pissing me off—do you really wanna go back to picking up your face off the floor? You’re gonna be mostly tape when I’m done with you, you don’t want that, do you, _babe_?” He flicked a piece of ash off of his cigar.

” _Thiz-Thix-Thiz-_ This is what I’m talking about,” Vox said. “Do you _gx-gz-_ get off on making people angry, _Vz-_ Val?”

”You think you can bend over when you pick your face up, Voxy?” Valentino asked. “I’m getting sick of all the amateurs I’ve been watching, I could use a good look at your ass.”

Velvet leaned further back into her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. “Come on, cut it out you too, haven’t you fought enough today? Vox, just apologize to him.”

Vox turned to her—some circuit or wire or something in his face popped. “Why am _I_ _ax-_ _apologix-ix-iz_ —“

She didn’t want to sit there while he trippe over the same word. ”Because you love him and don’t like fighting with him?”

“Yeah, babe,” Valentino grinned. “You love me. Apologize. You _know_ I’ll forgive you.”

He scowled. “Fine.” He turned back to Valentino. “I’m sorry, Val.”

”Good boy,” Valentino said. He visibly relaxed in his chair, as if this conversation had gotten him all stressed. “While we’re talking, you should know I’d _never_ remove your legs from your body—they’re one of my favorite things about you, you’re so beautiful, Voxy.”

Vox didn’t bat an eye—though, to be fair, he was missing one and a half. “I’m _sx-sz-_ sorry you’re a rat _bz-_ bastard.”

The room went dead silent. For a moment, she thought the two of them were only going to glare at each other—silence between the two of them was _far_ from ideal, but it was better than some of the shouting matches they could get into, so Velvet figured she could deal.

But of course, that wasn’t going to happen. (God, why couldn’t Vox just keep it at the apology and let it go?)

”What was that, baby?” He smiled—it didn’t reach his eyes. It was a threat, a way to assure them that he was mad—mad enough to shout, but he wouldn’t shout for whatever reason. He got up from his chair and crossed the room in long, quick strides. “Oh, Voxy, come on—say it again. Say it again for me, babe.”

Valentino was a full three feet taller than Vox. Vox was already pretty damaged—this wasn’t how things usually worked between them. They’d get into fights, it’d get physical, Vox’s screen would break and Val would leave to cool down, and even if Vox got him angry all over again, even if Vox _deserved_ it, Val wouldn’t hit him until he was all healed up and fixed and they had made up.

...This wasn’t like them. When they fought, Valentino shouted. He hit him but when they were done, he wouldn’t hit him again. They calmed down, there was always cool down time in between arguments, it hadn’t even been three hours since their last fight.

”Come on, baby,” Val said, and he was still grinning—he was definitely going to hit Vox again, there was no doubt about it. And Vox deserved it, he was being stupid, but goddamnit, she didn’t like watching them fight like this. “Speak up, I want to hear you.” He stepped closer, just about pinning Vox in the chair, slamming a hand down by his head—Velvet found herself flinching, even though he hadn’t hurt him just yet. “ _Let me hear_ _you_.”

If Vox was at all intimidated, he didn’t show it. _“Sx-Sz-_ Sometimes _,_ I really _fux-_ fucking hate your _gz-gx-gx-_ guts, Val.”

His grin only widened—something about this was so, _so_ wrong to her, Velvet found herself getting to her feet and stepping closer. “Come on, Val, leave him alone—he’s banged up enough—“

He completely ignored her. No, no, it was worse than that, because ignoring her would be fine, they had ignored her earlier—it was common when they were too busy fighting, for them to get so focused on each other that the world around them melted away and it was just the two of them, yelling at each other. Valentino didn’t ignore her, but he did press the lit end of his cigar into her arm when she reached out to touch him, and shoved her away from him.

It even got Vox to start. “Vz-Vx-Val, _what the fuck—“_

His cigar forgotten, Valentino used that hand to grab the edge of Vox’s screen, like he was trying to hold him still, but Vox was already holding so still, it didn’t matter. “It’s okay, Voxy,” he all but cooed. Velvet wasn’t sure when she fell, wasn’t even sure if Val had _really_ pushed her, because that had never happened before, he _never_ hurt her, _she didn’t let him_ , but she sat up to look at them—Valentino paid her no mind, he only had eyes for his (ex?)boyfriend. Two of his other hands shot out to grab his wrists, like he was trying to keep his arms still, and Velvet _really_ didn’t like where this was heading. “You know why I’m okay with that?”

Vox looked at her—did he expect her to help him? It was his own damn fault he got Valentino this angry anyway. Or maybe he was concerned about her, because _Val had never done that before_. But as far as she knew, Val had also never done this before either.

Valentino tapped a finger to Vox’s screen. _“Answer_ me when I’m talking to you, _babe_. We’re in the middle of a conversation, Voxy.”

 _Apologize,_ Velvet thought, like she could maybe just will Vox to do it. _Apologize to him, and he’ll stop._

Vox cocked his head like there was something funny about this. “ _Why,_ Valentino, dear- _ex_ _-ex-ez-_ est?”

She did not like this. Not one bit—Vox was being an asshole, but Val was the asshole who was blowing this way out of proportion. “Because...” His last hand moved to grab one of the shards of his face with his fingers, pulling it away from the tape that barely had it connected to him. “...Sometimes...” He pulled it all the way off and dropped it—Velvet caught the flash of pain across Vox’s face, but it only lasted a second, only a second. “I hate you just as much.” He grabbed another piece, discarding the tape.

Her breath caught in her throat. “Val,” she uttered.

”Do you have _any_ idea,” Valentino said—it looked like Vox moved, maybe tried to move away, but he only tightened his hold on him. “How badly I’ve been wanting to do this to you? Maybe I like you with only one eye, Voxy—maybe I want you to walk around like this, so everyone knows what I do to you when you piss me off.”

”Val, oh my God, stop.” He was really freaking her out!

”You look so _pretty_ like this, Voxy.” Another piece. Vox’s scowl was fractured. Val was just slowly re-doing all the damage he had caused, undoing Vox’s work. “I like how quiet you’re being for me—I love your legs attached to you, you know, but I think your face looks so much better on the floor.”

”You’re a _fx-fx-fz-_ fucking psycho, Val,” Vox said—Valentino picked up another piece of his face and dropped it on the floor, tore a piece of tape stuck to him off.

”I thought I was a bastard, baby?” Another piece. No more of his face was taped down, this next one was still hanging on, but was still fractured. Valentino dug a nail into the crack. “I liked you better when you were quiet, Vox.” The hand on the edge of his screen moved to somewhere on the back—Vox’s voice went quiet. Wait, Vox had a volume button? And she didn’t know about it? “That’s better.” He pulled on the piece again before separating it from the rest of his screen. “That’s _much_ better, Voxy—do you like pissing me off? Because you know I’ll hurt you like this? Are you a masochist, is that it? You can tell me if you like this, baby, you don’t need to get me all worked up to do this to you, babe—you know why?

”I _like_ doing this to you.” He pulled again, Vox’s hands curled into fists, his mouth flickered, moved, but he didn’t make a sound—

 _“Oh my fuck,_ Val, stop it!” She shouted.

Valentino froze in place, right where he was. “Val?” He didn’t say anything. Vox didn’t say anything. The room went silent before he just tore that one piece off and dropped it to the floor.

”Sorry, Voxy,” he said, slid a finger down the edge of his screen, tone still horribly sweet and soft. Vox tried to look away, but there was always something about Valentino that had him looking anyway. “I’m sorry you look so pretty when you’re mad at me.”

Valentino stepped back—pieces of Vox’s face crunched beneath his feet as he sat back down, already looking over what just happened. Vox pressed the volume button on the side of his head until his cursing was audible. “Ax-Ax-Ax-Az-Az-Az-Asshole,” he said, glared at Valentino while he lit another cigar.

”I can’t help myself around you, babe,” he said, blew a ring of smoke towards him. “Can you blame me? I am a rat bastard, you know.”

Vox didn’t bother to say anything—he simply turned on his heel and walked towards the door. “What? You’re not gonna pick your face back up, baby?” He didn’t respond, just left—and Val huffed before he looked back at her.

He heard him shift—she didn’t know why her legs shook when she stood, but she didn’t think she wanted to look at him right now. “Velvet, babydoll—I’m sorry about that, I didn’t hurt you too bad, did I?”

She blinked and looked up at him—that burn on her arm was minor. She’d be completely fine. Vox would get a new screen. “That was a dick move, Val,” she said.

His expression actually looked sympathetic. “It was, Vel,” he said.

”If you ever do that to me again, I will rip your throat out and wear it as a fucking neck tie,” she told him.

Briefly, Valentino looked startled before he smiled. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, babydoll—never again, promise.”

She nodded and adjusted one of the scrunchies in her hair before looking at Vox’s shattered screen. “You didn’t like... _mean_ the things you said to him, right?” Val glanced at her. “...You don’t like hurting him, right?”

”Of course not, babydoll,” he said. “You know how much I love him. I only told you everyday before we finally hooked up.” That had been a fun _decade—mutual_ pining, flirting, subtle and quiet, all that jazz; they had been her OTP. One of them would do something, and tell her how much they liked the other _(God, those legs, Vel,_ or _He can wrap me in that jacket anytime_.) and would leave, just so the other could talk about how they had the hots for them. Val flicked a piece of ash off of his cigar, but missed the ashtray nearby—he either didn’t notice, or didn’t care, and Valentino wasn’t looking at her anymore. “He just pisses me off sometimes.”

”Right,” she said, and she looked again at the glass on the floor. A piece of tape was stuck on Valentino’s shoe, but he didn’t look at it. “...Right.”

He just wanted to fix his fucking face, rest, eat some ice cream, and pretend Valentino didn’t exist—really, what was so hard to understand about that?

”I _dz-_ don’t think that’s gonna happen this time,” he told Velvet. He got a new screen, but the thought of eating ice cream made him feel sick, his sleep had been fitful, and Velvet seemed determined to fix their relationship problems.

Velvet pouted. “But the two of you are such a cute couple!”

Nothing said love like getting your face smashed on a weekly... Or bi-weekly basis. “Vel,” he said. “It’s _Tz-Tx-_ Tuesday.”

”Yeah?”

”That _wx-_ was our third fight _thz-thz-thix-_ this week.”

God, he hated it when Val grabbed him like that. He didn’t know why he had let himself forgive Valentino so _easily_ , he didn’t know why he dealt with the shit he did—but it didn’t matter. Valentino wasn’t around right now. He was alone. Valentino couldn’t hurt him. They couldn’t fight. And it was a personal choice, to get back together with him, and he didn’t have to make it, he’d be fine single all over again. “What happened to the screen protector he bought you?”

...God. He remembered Val giving it to him. It had been after a pretty bad fight—he remembered he had left the studio fighting back tears and feeling stupid, he remembered Valentino came over with flowers and honeyed words, and had kissed every last crack on his face and promised he’d watch his temper more if Vox forgave him.

...Vox had forgiven him. And Valentino had given him a screen protector he bought with him in mind. _So I don’t have to see you in so much pain_ , he said, like it was still somehow Vox’s fault when he hit him, when he said he’d watch his temper and never did. _I don’t like it when you give me the silent treatment, Voxy, just start talking to me again._ Fuck, he was stupid.

”Can’t breathe through it,” he said. “... _Ix-_ It’s too much of a hassle, not worth it.”

Briefly, Velvet looked sad—she didn’t know the half of it. He had been devastated to find out he couldn’t breathe through the screen protector. Valentino had bought it for him! It meant they were going to get better, things were getting better between them—and then, two weeks later, when Valentino hit him again, he had _hoped_ that maybe he was angry he wasn’t wearing it. It had been a gift—he should have been appreciating it more.

...What would it really have done anyway, though? Nothing could stop Valentino when he was mad enough. And even pissed, Vox always fell for his words, if he just had the right tone. “Maybe you just need a different one,” Velvet said.

”Sure.” His phone vibrated—another text from Valentino, and he somehow still hoped it’d be an apology, another promise to break when he hit him again later this week.

Instead, he read, _Voxy, baby, one of your outages are affecting the studio. I can’t work in the dark 💕_

He texted back, _Find a flashlight_.

There was a vibrating sound from the call he was on with Velvet. “...Really?” She asked. “Can’t you help him out, aren’t you still friends?”

”...You were _thz-_ there, right?” He asked.

Velvet groaned. “You remember how bad you had it for him before you guys hooked up, right?”

He grimaced—he couldn’t forget. He had fallen asleep every night thinking about how badly he had it for Val—and the worst part had been, sometimes, he thought Valentino had felt the same way, but he had never thought it enough to actually act on it.

And now it didn’t matter, because he...

He wasn’t going to take him back after this.

”It’s complicated, Vel,” he told her. His phone vibrated again.

_But baby, I have you. You’re WAY better than a toy, you know that._

It vibrated again. _I really thought you said fleshlight. Flashlight makes more sense._

Velvet frowned, looking at her phone. “...Okay, I know you’re upset about him, but like, seriously, is he the top or...?”

”Why do you _cx-_ care so much about our _sx-sx-_ sex life and shit? Go find yourself a boyfriend or _sx-_ something, Vel.”

”No,” she said. Just that, no—whatever, he didn’t care. _Not my fault you can’t read,_ he texted back.

”I think he’s the top,” Velvet mused. “Because he’s so much taller, you know? Like, that makes sense to me.”

He didn’t know where to start with that. “Height has _nz-_ nothing to do with being a top or _bx-bx-_ bottom. ...Okay, it does, a bit, but he’s _nx-_ not—“ Velvet seemed to lean forward, interested. “—Holy fuck, quit prying into our sex _lx-_ life!” Velvet laughed and pulled her scrunchies out of her pigtails, wearing them on her wrists instead while she combed her fingers through her hair.

”I’m just saying,” she said, while Valentino texted him again. “The two of you are usually...” She trailed off for a second. “... _happier_. When you’re together.”

Yeah. When they weren’t fighting, hitting each other, and wishing the other (or sometimes, they themselves) were dead all over again, they were pretty happy. _Come on, baby. Do you aim for my studio every time we fight? You got Angel Dust trapped in an elevator down here, how the fuck am I gonna make his scrawny ass do a gangbang if it’s stuck in a metal box for the rest of the day_?

”I know that look,” Velvet said. She sighed. “He brought up Angel Dust again?”

Velvet hated Angel Dust with a burning passion—it was easy to, really. “Nothing _nz-_ new,” he said.

”You know, if we really wanted to, we could probably take him.” His fingers hovered over the letters on his phone a moment. “Out, I mean. We could take him out. I mean we should kill him.”

”He’s _jx-_ just one of Val’s employees,” he said—he knew he couldn’t keep the loathing out of his voice, but at least his words were kind of _not_ _totally_ full of hatred.

”Yes,” Velvet said. “An employee he fucks on about a daily basis, regardless of whether or not you’re together? And who he’s just about always in contact with?” Maybe _harassing_ would be a better term than _in contact_ _with,_ but Vox would never admit it. “We’re allowed to hate him! And, as Overlords, we’re also allowed to kidnap him and leave him in pieces in a ditch somewhere.”

No use protecting Angel Dust, so he used logic. “Val’d know it was us.”

”He’d get over it,” Velvet reasoned. “And it wouldn’t really stop us if he was already dead.”

...It was kind of an appealing thought. Of all his whores, Angel Dust was Valentino’s favorite, and from a logical standpoint, Vox didn’t really have anything against him. Angel Dust was _incredibly_ attractive, and he had a job, and he did his job well—really, it wasn’t Angel’s fault Valentino had taken a liking to him (especially when Vox did know what Val did to the employees he took a liking to), but at the same time...

It’d be easy. He didn’t have to be cruel about it, either, he wasn’t going to _torture_ him, just... stab him with a holy blade, Heaven’s steel right in the chest, and he’d be gone. They could throw his body in a ditch somewhere, or a dumpster, or just burn it—the more he thought about it, the more tempting the option it was. “No,” he said, but didn’t bother elaborating, so he didn’t show just how tempted he was to kill him.

His phone vibrated again, _You’re ignoring me again, Voxy? 💕_

Yeah.

”Can’t you just apologize to him?” Velvet asked. “And end this fight again?” God, he never won fights with Val. “He wouldn’t have hit you if you left it at the apology.”

Probably not—he just hadn’t really cared in the moment. At this point, he was numb to most of the things Valentino did to him—it was just a part of their relationship. “Maybe I _wx-_ want him to apologize to me,” he said.

His phone vibrated _again._ He decided to stick to his guns and blocked Valentino without looking at the message. He wanted to be _done_ with him. For good. (He didn’t think it was gonna happen, but still.)

”That’s never gonna happen,” Velvet told him. “Like seriously.” She looked at her phone again. “...Vox, you _blocked_ him?”

”How’s your arm?” He asked—it was a less than subtle way of changing the subject, but he didn’t care.

”It’s _fine,”_ she said. “This was the first time he’s ever done anything like it. He won’t do it again.”

His tone got stern, like he was going to give her a lecture or something. “It _stx-stz-_ starts with _the first time,_ Vel—and you tell yourself it’ll _nx-_ never happen again, but _thz-_ then he _does_ do it again, and you blame yourself for not holding him to it, and then he _kx-_ keeps on doing it and you _let it happen._ ”

”If he does it again, I’ll tear his fucking throat out,” Velvet said. “Now quit acting like I’m some sort of victim in all of this, I could beat Val up and you _know it_.”

It was true—Velvet would take Valentino in a fight. ...Vox was also pretty sure he could take Valentino in a fight, in all seriousness, but he didn’t like hitting Valentino, even if he started it.

He had always assumed it was a mutual feeling.

”...Oh, god,” Velvet said. “You got all quiet and sad looking.” Her hands dropped to her lap. “ _Vox,_ you _know_ you’re miserable without him. Can’t you just take the blow to your pride and apologize to him so he’ll take you back?”

He messaged him on Instagram, _Voxy, don’t ignore me_ 💕

”Fuck no,” he said—to who, he wasn’t sure, but it only mattered so much. “I don’t miss that rat.” He wouldn’t use _bastard_ again—at least, not for a while, anyway. God, he _hated_ it when Val got like that.

 _I know you’re getting these, baby ❤️_

_Talk to me._

_Come on 💕_

”God, I _fx-fz-_ fucking hate him,” he said. His phone vibrated with another notification—Val had made some post. He wasn’t even going to look at it, he just blocked him again.

Velvet giggled. “Are you looking at this?”

”No,” he said. “I _dx-_ don’t want to—I don’t want anything that has to do with _hix-hiz-_ him.”

Velvet pouted. “Now you’re just being mean, Vox—he loves you. He wouldn’t get back together with you this many times after you pissed him off if he didn’t.”

”I don’t care, Vel,” he said. “I’m _gx-gz-_ gonna go back to my show and... feed Vark and pretend _Vz-_ Val doesn’t exist anymore.”

Velvet sighed. “You’ll get over yourself eventually, Vox—call me later, okay?” Yeah, she needed bitch about her two friends again. Sometimes, Vox wondered if she was even grounded in reality.

God—he needed a fucking drink. He didn’t even bother pressing play. He didn’t care about TV right now, he didn’t want to _move_. His mind drifted back to Angel Dust, fantasizing about killing him—it served no purpose really, and Vox didn’t think he’d actually do it, because, logically, that wou;dn’t solve the fact that his boyfriend was a douchebag and Valentino really would just find someone else, but...

He didn’t want to think about this anymore.

He forced himself to get up after a few minutes and started searching his house for Vark. “Vark?” He called—being a shark-dog, he didn’t speak English, so he didn’t really respond.

He sighed and entered the living room—he was probably on the couch, like he shouldn’t be, or playing with a toy or something—

Vox froze where he was—Valentino lounged on the couch in his living room, one of his stupid cigars in hand, smirking like he was proud of himself.

”Hey, Voxy, baby,” Valentino said. “You been getting my texts?”

He sneered—it almost hid the fact that his heart sank right from his chest into his stomach. “Vark? C’mere, _hx-_ honey.” He whistled—he swore to _fuck,_ if Valentino hurt his shark-dog-pet, he was gonna fucking tear that asshole limb from limb.

Valentino exhaled a puff of smoke in his direction, red-pink and sweet smelling. “God, you love that thing more than me.”

” _Yz_ -Yeah,” he said. “He has yet to smack me _arz-arx-_ around when I don’t do what he wants.” He’d growl and bark, but that was about it, and even that was rare because Vox spoiled the everloving fuck out of his shark-dog-pet.

”What about that one time?” Valentino asked. “When he broke your screen?”

”That was an _ax-az-_ accident,” he responded. “Unlike when you do it. He’s getting _bx-_ better about jumping on people.”

”I couldn’t blame anyone who wanted to jump you, Voxy.”

”The fuck are you _dx-dz-_ doing in my house?” He whistled. “Vark?” He turned back to Valentino. “If you did _sx-sz-_ something to my shark, Val, I’ll fucking _kz-_ kill you.”

”Yeah, baby?” He smiled, tapped a piece of ash directly onto the floor because he was a piece of work. “I’d like to see you try—I’ll melt you down and make a fuckin’ necklace, make you even prettier.” Vox almost forgot how much he moved his left foot when he sat like this, all laid back and relaxed, when he spoke...

Somehow, the thought made his throat go dry. “Your shark’s fine,” Valentino said.

He should look for Vark—but Val was a ten foot tall sadist, chilling in his living room, and he guessed he didn’t want to leave him alone. “You _wx-_ want a drink or _sz-_ something, I need at least _seven_ to deal with you.”

”I’m good, Voxy,” he said. “But you know how much I like you when you drink.”

He stared flatly at his (ex?)boyfriend. “You _knx-_ know... In life, I was _ax-_ against the death penalty. Now that I’m in _Hx-Hz-_ Hell, I understand the need for it. Sometimes, _px-_ people are just so fucking terrible, there’s _nx-_ no point in letting them _liz-_ live.”

”I _know_ you aren’t implying you want me dead, darlin’.” The bottle he had grabbed from the kitchen was cool and smooth to the touch—it slipped from his fingers and onto the floor, but didn’t shatter, just broke into four large pieces and soaked the floor in bourbon, and Vox found himself gripping the counter so he didn’t throw himself at his ex in an attempt to kill him.

”I know you didn’t _jux-_ just imply you _wz-_ wanted to get me drunk.”

“You don’t know what I meant by that.”

”I _dx-dz-_ don’t like the implications.”

Valentino grinned. “Maybe I just want to hold you. Maybe I want to kiss you and whisper sweet nothings into... Well, not your _ear_ , but you get the idea.” Vox grabbed another bottle and went ahead and swallowed a gulp or two without pouring it into a glass before going back into the living room. “Come on, baby, let’s talk this out. Like adults.”

”You’re only _hx-_ here because of the studio,” he said.

“Voxy,” he said. “You think so little of me, I’d just come over to turn the power back on? Baby, I already hired someone to figure out the power—I don’t want to lose days of work every time you throw a temper tantrum and shut off power somewhere in Hell. My time is money, Voxy.” He took another drag—long and slow, because even if his time was money, there was no rush. He could afford to take his time for this shit. “I’m here because I wanted to see you.”

”Do you _thix-thiz-_ think I want to see you?” He kept his voice cold—he should have downed that whole bottle.

”Difficult to tell,” Valentino said. “You stopped responding to my texts, baby—I can’t read minds.” He pulled out his phone and showed the glowing screen—with a recent text conversation with Velvet, which was never a good sign. “And then Vel thought I upset you...”

”You _dix-diz-_ did,” Vox said. “You also broke my screen and burned her with a cigar.”

”I apologized to her,” Valentino responded. “She doesn’t hold grudges.”

”She’d _ax-_ also tear you limb from _liz-_ limb if you did it again.”

”She would—but I’m not going to.”

”And _whz-_ where have I heard that _bx_ -before?”

”Voxy, come here—I won’t hurt you, baby. Promise.”

He shouldn’t have. He should have kicked Valentino out, right then, never unblocked him and should have told Velvet never to say his name to him ever again.

But he sat down on the couch beside him and his throat tightened when Valentino rested a hand on his knee, his chest filling with traitorous emotions. “Thank you, Voxy.” His stomach twisted and a mantra of, _He’s a bastard, you hate him, he’s a bastard,_ ran through his mind but he probably wouldn’t say it aloud for at least a week or two. “Can you do me a _favor,_ Voxy?”

If he had a tongue, a mouth he was used to (because even after all this time, his body was strange and unfamiliar to him, he didn’t think he’d ever get used to a flat head and his skinny legs), he’d bite it to keep quiet, but he just stuck with staring Valentino down.

He handed his phone to Vox. “Read that for me?”

He looked at Velvet’s text—referring to the conversation he had been having with her when she sent the fucking text, God _damnit,_ he was gonna murder her. “Baby,” Val asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. “You aren’t _jealous,_ are you?”

He all but threw the phone back to him. “ _Fx-Fx-_ Fuck you, Val.”

He thought Valentino would say something about the two of them having sex (because they always ended up having sex when Valentino came over to apologize or make up or be a fucking prick) but instead he just smiled. “Why would you be jealous of _Angel Dust,_ Voxy?” He laughed—if his screen showed his face blushing, he’d rip it off his fucking shoulders and shove it down Val’s ten foot tall throat. “I never thought you were the jealous type?”

” _Whx-Whz-_ What’s there to be jealous about?” He asked. “He’s just your _whx-_ whore. That earns you the most _mx-mz-_ money. And who you _rx-rz-_ rape on about a weekly basis. And never shut the fuck _ux-_ up about.” It didn’t matter—it didn’t matter. Angel was just an employee, and Val’s employees were just things to him, they just brought him money.

”It’s not rape if I own his soul, babe,” Val said.

”It _ix-_ is if he _strx-_ struggles.”

”No, it’s not.”

”It really is—he _dx-_ doesn’t consent.”

”Why do you suddenly care about what I do to Angel Dust? I always thought you had a crush on him, Vox—I mean, if that’s the case, I can let you have a little time with him.” His cigar was burning low—Vox wondered how many he smoked a day. “You can do _whatever_ you want to him, baby—he won’t tell you no. He’ll probably enjoy it—how many demons do you think get the chance to say they fucked an Overlord?”

”That’s _nx-_ not what this is about,” he said—he didn’t think he really liked Angel Dust, least, not like that.

”It’s not, baby?” Valentino was still smiling. “Okay, baby—is it because you don’t like what I do to him? Would you rather I do it to you? Because let’s be honest here, Voxy, Angel’s _gorgeous,_ but he’s got nothing on you.” This conversation wasn’t actually making him feel any better. Valentino squeezed his knee all the same, and it moved up on his thigh. “Do you just not like how much attention I give him? Because you know, if you want me to give you more attention, I’m all for it—you’d look good, Voxy, all bent over a vanity, facing the mirror so you can watch what exactly I do to you.” ...It sounded more appealing than Vox wanted it to be—he kept thinking that for him it sounded good, but he loathed the thought of Val doing it to Angel for so many reasons, and still, it sounded way more appealing than it should be. “Would you rather I hand cuff you, make you hold onto the table, or should I hold your arms behind you when I fuck you like an animal? Mm, I don’t have a preference, babe, which one do you want?”

He knew it was a term of endearment, but he just didn’t like the way it sounded on Val’s tongue—and it was one he used for everyone. That somehow kept his lust on the background of his mind, with his rage on the foreground. “You _ax-_ always _dx-_ do this.”

”Do _what_ , Voxy? Compliment you?” He squeezed his thigh before pulling back—his thigh somehow burned, despite the layer of cloth that had separated his hand from it, and despite it all, Vox wanted him to put his hand back.

” _Nz-_ No, you _cx-_ come in here when I’m mad, _stx-_ start talking about useless shit, and _thx-thz-_ then start complimenting me—you can’t just fix all this by flattering me, Val.”

The hand was back—he shouldn’t have savored the touch, but he did. “Just tell me what you want, baby—you know I’ll do it.”

”I want a _bx-bz-_ boyfriend that doesn’t act like a raging _bx_ -bitch all the time,” he said. “So I’ll get a _nz-_ new one.”

He pulled his hand back—or maybe Vox moved it himself this way. “Oh, baby, don’t act like this—you know I can’t help myself around you when you get mad.”

”You’re a _pz-_ piece of work, you know that, Val?”

A hand moved to his shoulder. “Voxy, give me something to work with here. You know I love you to pieces.” Enough to tear him to pieces. “You know I’m _willing_ to do something for you...” He took another drag. “...What about,” he started. “You come by the studio again tomorrow. We’ll talk there, hang out with Velvet, and then you can let me take you home and apologize the entire drive before you forgive me. And while we’re there, baby—“ He squeezed. Vox hated how much he loved his hands on him. “—you can help me figure out what to do with Angel Dust.” Ugh. “I was thinking, his newest film could be something... different.”

”You never _stz-stx-_ stop talking about him? Don’t you have other employees?”

”Yeah, baby—you didn’t really let me finish. I think you might like this idea.”

”What idea?”

He smiled. “I’m suggesting a snuff film, darling.”

His throat tightened, Valentino laughed. “You like that idea, baby?”

” _Thax_ -That’s...” He trailed off—he didn’t know what it was. He knew snuff films were... bad—they were a bit too common down in Hell, all sorts of people wanted to jack off to someone’s suffering, and Vox had the feeling that tons of people would love to jack off to specifically _Angel Dust’s_ suffering, but other than the obvious fact that snuff films were never truly lethal down here, that Valentino didn’t have too many snuff films because he needed his whores in working order, and that Angel Dust would get absolutely no enjoyment out of it, he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. “You’d _nx_ -never do _thaz-_ that,” he said instead. “...You don’t even _lx-_ let your other _whz-_ whores do snuff films, why the fuck _wx-_ would you with _Angel Dust_?”

”Because,” he said. “He earns me enough money. When he’s... _recovering_ from it, he might be out of commission for awhile, but if it reassures you how much more you mean to me? I can lose a bit of money with him unable to work, you know you’re priceless to me, baby.” His hand moved to his chest. “Just say the word, and they’ll be the only _projects_ he’s doing for the next decade.”

...Fuck.

It was cruel. It was pointless. Valentino would see a dip in profits, really, though not much because people _would_ go crazy to it. Angel Dust would hate every minute of it, seriously—he’d be miserable, like anyone would, and he knew that snuff films could get pretty... _colorful_ down here, and it probably wasn’t fair to make him suffer just so Vox could be momentarily reassured that Val loved him enough to do this. From a logical standpoint, it was pointless and cruel and he knew Angel Dust wasn’t the problem here, it was Val. ...From the standpoint he was currently at, this was one of the most romantic things Valentino had ever said—this was a step above fast food dates, and that was _sad._

”Vox,” he all but cooed. “I need an answer. Did you go back to ignoring me?”

Vox sighed—Valentino didn’t mean it. He knew he didn’t, but it didn’t matter, because he _said_ it: he knew he said it, knowing Vox wouldn’t believe it, Valentino knew him too well, knew he’d never agree with something like this, but—

“Fx-Fuck,” he cursed.

He wasn’t sure when Valentino got closer, but he thought he liked it. ...He liked it, but that was it, it didn’t mean he forgave Val for the day before, it didn’t mean _anything._

...His cigar smoke smelled like cherries. There was another hand on his thigh and Valentino’s voice was light, airy, because he knew he had Vox right where he wanted him. “Something wrong, Voxy?

They had sex on his couch thirty seconds later.

He watched Valentino pull his coat back on. “You don’t _ax-_ actually have to _mz-_ make him do snuff films.”

Valentino looked back at him—he knew, immediately, that he had had no intention of actually doing that, which would have been hurtful if Vox hadn’t reached the same conclusion about right before him and Val started necking. He smiled, because he was a rat bastard no matter how many times they made up. “If that’s what you want, baby.”

He _wished_ he could blame his shitty relationship with Val on Angel Dust—but there was no point. Valentino would find a new star to bend over something in his office, even if Vox committed to offing every last one he found. It’d be a cycle. “...It is,” he said, so he could try to convince himself that he was okay with this.

It wasn’t working. “Alright, Voxy.” He grasped the edges of his screen again and placed a kiss that seemed almost a bit too loving on his screen. He hated the fact that he wished he had a real face, so he could kiss back. “You still mad at me?”

” _Ax-Az-_ Always,” he responded. “...That... _entire_ thing _Vez-_ Velvet texted you is out of _cz-cz-_ context.”

”I’m sure, baby,” Valentino said. “If that’s what you wanna tell me.”

It was.

Another kiss to his screen. “I’m gonna need to call Velvet,” he said, put a pair of hands on Vox’s waist tenderly, and pulled him closer and he wondered if maybe Valentino could hear his heart thrumming in his chest. “Tell her...”

” _Tx-Tz-_ Tell her what?”

”Nothing, baby,” he said. “Just that I won a bet.”

...He was gonna regret this. “What _bz-_ bet?”

Valentino smiled. “We were talking, is all—and we decided that out of the three of us, you were the less crazy one.”

”...What does _thax-_ that mean?”

”Well, she told me she suggested murdering Angel Dust, and that you didn’t want that—she thought you’d come around, if you could get me on board with it, but I knew better.” He grinned, fixed his stupid glasses on his stupid face. “Nice to know you’re not into snuff films. You could get me to do almost _anything,_ Voxy, but I’m not into knives—but I wouldn’t mind cutting you a little, if you were into that, though.”

”...Get the _fux-_ fuck out of _mx-_ my house.”

It did nothing to dislodge the grin on his face. “Anything for you, love.” He kissed his screen, and it almost made the butterflies in his stomach writhe back to life, but the fact that Valentino had made a bet with Velvet about this had killed them—it killed them dead. He guessed a part of him liked hearing that Valentino would let someone suffer for an entire decade getting tortured and probably raped in front of a camera, all for him too—he supposed he was in Hell for a reason, and, apparently, that reason was a bit more than just the people he hit with his car maybe, on accident-but-kind-of-his-fault-because-he-was-drunk-and-he-might-have-been-maybe-gunning-for-his-boss-but-he-deserved-it-and-he-knew-that-jackass-was-down-here-anyway-therefore-he-did-the-world-a-favor-and-should-not-be-blamed-for-it.

”Call me, baby,” he said as he walked away.

Vox did not call him. He did not unblock him. He cleaned up the bottle he broke earlier and fed Vark (after finding him whimpering in an open closet) his dinner, and when Velvet texted him all happy, _So the two of you made up? 🤗_ he made sure to tell her just what a bitch he thought she was.

But it was okay, he guessed, since he thought now more than ever that Valentino was a rat bastard, and he... He decided he was just tired.

Their fourth fight this week, or a continuation of the third? She wasn’t sure. It was difficult to tell with them.

”Vox, if you’re so _mad,_ why did you even come to the studio today?” She asked. She was in a bad enough mood—Vox cursed her out when she was getting her nails done, and then Valentino had been blowing up the group chat about how Vox had him blocked (which Vox probably didn’t know about because he had him blocked) and when her phone vibrated this morning like the extermination had come early and she had rushed to pick up her phone, she had broken a nail. “Like, you think you’re not gonna see him or something?”

Vox didn’t answer. Velvet snorted. “You act like you hate us, but you love us. You _love_ us!”

Vox rolled his eyes. “ _Fux-_ Fuck you, and _fuz-_ fuck Val.”

She couldn’t hide her smirk, even if you tried. “Didn’t you do that last night?”

Probably just to mess with her, she punched the wall beside her—it wasn’t anywhere close to her, but the sound made her start. “You jackass!”

Valentino appeared behind Vox, but he didn’t seem to notice right away, and after that, she wasn’t about to give him a heads up. “Do the _tx-tz-_ two of you always make _bx-_ bets when we fight?” He asked. “Is it _sz-sx-_ some sort of joke, to see how quick I forgive _hiz-_ him for the next fuck up?”

She feigned thought. “Yes. It is! It’s hilarious—I’ve never seen two people more in love, seriously. You love him. Admit it.” Vox didn’t look at her. “ _Admit it—_ you love him!”

”No,” Vox said, tone harsh. “I _dx-dz-_ don’t.”

”That’s mean, Voxy,” Val said, directly behind him—immediately, Vox stiffened and two of Valentino’s arms wrapped around his waist. “I still love you.”

”Aw!” Velvet chirped. “That’s so sweet! I ship you guys so _hard._ ”

Vox tried to move away from Valentino, pointedly avoiding looking at either of them, but he just slipped his hand from his waist, up his torso, over his shoulder, and down his arm to bring his hand to his face. “I missed you, baby.” He placed a kiss on Vox’s wrist—it was so romantic, just watching it had Velvet thinking she’d melt, though the intensity of Val’s stare made it all look weirdly intimate, she wasn’t sure if she should really be in the same room as them. “Didn’t you miss me?” Vox was completely silent. “I was waiting for you to call me. Kept me waitin’ all night, Voxy.”

“Why?” Velvet asked. “Why would you make him wait like that?”

Vox rolled his eyes again, but stayed quiet—maybe he didn’t know. One of these days, though, Velvet would make the two of them sort it all out, and then they’d definitely stay together—for good. This was an error in communication, she was sure, and once they sorted it all out and knew how much the other loved them, they’d be happily in love for the rest of eternity.

They started walking to the elevator, Val’s arm around his (probably ex)boyfriend. “So quiet, Voxy,” Val murmured, watching him like a hawk. “Are you giving me the silent treatment now?”

” _Cx-_ Couldn’t answer you, if I _wz-wx-_ were, could I, Val?”

”Aw, baby, are you mad at me for last night? What was it, was it not enough aftercare? Should I have complimented you more?” He tugged Vox a bit closer and made his voice only a _fraction_ quieter, almost like he actually cared on whether or not someone heard him, even though both Velvet and Vox knew he didn’t. “You got off, didn’t you, baby?”

” _Fx-Fz-_ Fuck you.”

”You want a round two already?” He grinned. “I mean, I’m not _against_ it—“ Vox turned away, but that didn’t make him stop. “It was _good_ last night, wasn’t it, Voxy? Better than usual, and even your usual is pretty good.”

Velvet grinned. “So the two of you did fuck last night?”

”Shut _ux-uz-_ up, Vel.”

”You’re so _mean_ , Voxy,” Valentino said, still grinning. “Good thing you’re so good in bed—I thought for _sure_ you were gonna let Vark interrupt us again—“

”Oh my _fux-_ fuck, that _wz-_ was _one_ time, and he thought _yx-_ you were _az-_ attacking me, we’ve been _ox-oz-_ over this.”

Velvet frowned. ”You guys never told me about this,” she said. 

Val grinned. “We haven’t?”

Vox groaned. “God, I do _nx-not_ want to talk about _thz-_ this,” he said.

”Baby, you never wanna talk about anything.”

”That’s _nx_ -not true and you _knz-know_ it.”

This was familiar—they had both adopted their usual, respective tones they had right as they started arguing. At this point, Velvet could recognize the tones, feel the change in the air, like it had gotten a few degrees warmer, as if the rage from their lover’s quarrel was heating up the room. Velvet groaned—the elevator dinged, chipper and indifferent to the typical chaos between her best friends. “Why didn’t you call?” Valentino asked. “I thought we made up, Voxy.”

Velvet stepped into the elevator, but they didn’t follow—they had stopped to argue. “I _gz-_ guess you thought wrong, _Vx-_ Val.”

”How the fuck am I supposed to know whether or not you’re still mad if you don’t tell me, baby?”

”Guess.”

”Vox, you’re being a dick.”

Velvet sighed. “Are you two lovebirds getting on or what?”

They both paused for a minute before Val stepped on. Expectantly, they both looked at Vox. “Vox, you coming, or what?”

Valentino pulled out his phone. “Voxy, baby, if you don’t get on right now, I don’t think I’m gonna let you get _off_ tonight.”

“ _Yx_ -You think I’m gonna let you put your hands on me after last night?”

”Baby, we both know you can’t get _enough_ of my touch. Now get your skinny ass in the elevator before I smack it around like I did last night.”

He didn’t immediately make a move to get on—Val looked up from his phone, and for one, tense minute they made vicious eye contact before Vox sighed, voice laced with static and heavy with exhaustion, and stepped on. Velvet pushed the button for the top floor and the button lit up—it satisfied a small part of her brain, though she’d be lying to claim she didn’t want to press all of them. “You guys really need like, therapy or some shit,” she said as the doors slid shut. “Like, you guys are the cutest power couple in all of Hell, but that doesn’t mean anything if you guys aren’t together half the time.”

The elevator lurched upward. She huffed her nails on her chest. “Like, seriously, it was funny the first few times, and I love seeing you guys happy, but fucking _Hell,_ I’m _so_ sick of watching you guys tear each other apart, can you like, make up and make up for good?”

”I couldn’t agree with you more, babydoll,” Valentino said, shooting a flat look at Vox. “But it’s not my fault Vox can’t communicate.” He shifted on his feet, tucking his phone back in his pocket. “Plus, those power outages he causes every time he gets mad are _really_ taking away some valuable time. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to work without electricity, baby—you’re lucky I have enough money to get a good enough generator for your little temper tantrums, or else we’d be takin’ the—“

The elevator came to a sudden halt, the lights above flickering. “...stairs,” he finished. The doors didn’t open right away. “And then we’d just be sitting in the dark, doin’ nothing and hating each other.”

Velvet almost told him that she wouldn’t be here if the power wasn’t working, but she was a little distracted by the fact that door wasn’t opening and the light was still flickering, and the elevator wasn’t moving. “Is... the elevator working?”

”It should be,” Valentino said, despite the obvious fact that it was not.

”Okay, but _is it?”_

”Vox, baby,” he said, grabbed Vox’s arm and pulled him somewhat closer. “You aren’t doing this to get back at me, now, are you?”

”I’m in the _ex-ez-_ elevator too, Val.” He tugged his arm out of his grip. “Who the _fux-fuz-_ fuck did you hire, they must have fucked it _ux-_ up.”

”Well, that wouldn’t be a problem now, if you hadn’t shut off the power, would it, babe?” He reached into his coat, pulled out a cigar. “So, really, this is your fault.”

”Yeah, _lx-lz-_ like my face?”

”Exactly, Voxy—just like your face, you _make_ me hit you.” He took a long drag—Velvet had no idea when he had lit it. “Do you think I’d hit you if you just behaved for me? If you shut your pretty mouth and did what I wanted, and quit acting like a little bitch?”

”Well, if I _mx-mz-_ make you hit me, then you _mx-mz-_ make me cause your _px-_ power _oz-_ outages.”

”That’s not how it works!”

”Then _how the fx-fz-fuck does it work, Vz-Val?”_

Velvet looked at both of them—now. They were going to do this _now?_ “Guys, can you _not_ get in another screaming match in the elevator? Like, for real, this is getting out of hand. Like, my parents continually tried to kill each other throughout my childhood, but at least they wouldn’t do it when we were trapped in an elevator together!”

”Oh, don’t worry, babydoll, I can’t kill Voxy, he’s already dead.”

“Oh my god,” she said, crossed her arms over her chest and pressed her back to the wall. Maybe she could curl up in the corner until they were done.

”I _nx-nz-_ never should have told you,” Vox said. “We should _hx-_ have just _stz-_ stayed friends, the _spx-_ spark would have died eventually, and I _wz-wx-_ wouldn’t be ordering a thousand screens for every one of our _fx-_ fights.”

”You don’t mean that,” Val said. “I know you don’t—you were the one who made the first move, remember, baby? You were so cute back then.”

”And you weren’t a _rx-rz-_ raging _bz-_ bitch.”

“Guys,” she interrupted. “Seriously. _Now?_ ”

”You used to _love_ this raging bitch, remember, Voxy? Fuck, those were the days—I loved every minute I spent flirting with you, you were adorable when you were flustered.”

”... _Fx-Fuz-_ Fuck, I can’t _stand_ you _anymx-_ anymore, Val.”

”Guys, you are _breaking my heart_ right now,” she said.

Vox sighed, shutting his eyes and leaning against the wall. “Vel, why do you _cz-cx-_ care so much about _ox-_ our relationship? It _rz-rx-_ really isn’t any of your business.”

”Oh, be nice, Voxy, she was just happy for us,” Valentino said. He wasn’t looking at either of them. “We used to be happy too.”

...God. _Used to._ That wasn’t fair. They couldn’t just decide they _used_ to be happy, they had to still be happy. “Come on, you guys, don’t you think you’re being kind of... hasty?” They didn’t say anything. “We’ve been in here for like, five minutes, you can’t break up now.”

”Babydoll, that decision isn’t yours to make,” Valentino said. “That’s _ours._ ”

”But the two of you are so _happy_ together!” She exclaimed. “And you guys were _best_ friends before you ever hooked up—if you break up now, then...”

Silence enveloped the elevator—seconds seemed to stretch into minutes, into hours, trapped with her best friends in a metal box, before Vox finally spoke up. “Maybe we _wx-_ were, Vel, but I don’t think we _are_ _hx-hz-_ happy anymore—we can’t just _sx-sz-_ suffer like this _fx-_ forever.”

”Don’t worry, Velvet,” Valentino said. “We’ll make up, eventually. And when Vox apologizes, you know I’ll take him back, and things will go back to normal, okay?”

”But what if they _don’t?_ ” The thought was so upsetting, she crossed her arms over her chest tighter. “Guys... Everyone down here is _miserable,_ and the two of you are at your happiest when you’re together, and...”

”And _wx-_ what?” Vox asked.

She sighed. “I mean, come _on—_ at best, the three of us are trapped down here for all of eternity, under the assumption we don’t _eventually_ get offed by an Exterminator or a holy bullet through the skull or whatever, and an eternity is a _long_ time.” She looked at both of them, feeling stupid for just admitting it out loud. “I don’t expect to be friends with you guys for an eternity! Maybe another century. Maybe two. I’m gonna move onto better things at _some_ point—but when that happens, I don’t want you guys to be miserable—you guys need to be happy when I leave, and you need to stay happy, and as it is, it kind of feels like I’m the only thing holding this friendship together, and that is just, it’s just _wrong._ ”

Vox looked at her sympathetically. “It’s _nz-_ not your _jx-_ job to fix our relationship for us, _Vx-_ Vel.”

”I’m not doing it ‘cause I have to, I’m doing it ‘cause I _want_ to.” She huffed. “Even if I don’t expect us all to be friends forever, I really care about you now, and I don’t want to watch the two of you get all miserable and sad all the time, when you guys are _so_ close to being happy. Like, how the hell are the two of you gonna _survive_ without me?”

Valentino looked at her. “Babydoll, you don’t need to worry. It’s so crowded down here, you can’t survive without stepping on someone’s toes—at least, if you do it to us, we’ll still be standing, Velvet. We’ll survive. So you don’t need to worry.”

She shook her head. “You don’t get it. Surviving isn’t good enough—we were all surviving before we became the hottest, most powerful Overlords in Hell. I _survived_ my parents fighting, and their divorce, and my mother losing her bakery, and my father losing his deli, and their second divorce, and I survived college, and I survived everything up to my mother bashing my head in with a lamp and my father cutting off my body parts with a circular saw—survival isn’t enough anymore. This is Hell.”

A thin, red tendril of smoke wrapped around Vox’s leg. “If I ever meet your parents down here, I’ll kill them, babydoll,” Val told her. “You have my word.”

”I’m over that,” Velvet said. “I hated them, I hated spending time with them. But I don’t want you guys to make me all miserable, and I want you guys to be happy, so can you pretty please just make up and kiss?”

Vox sighed. “... _Cx-Cz-_ Come on, Val—let’s just... _mz-_ make up for now, and we _cx-_ can talk later, when we _dz-dx-_ don’t have to worry about _scz-_ scarring Velvet for _lx-_ life. Might be _nz-_ nice not breaking up over something _stx-stz-_ stupid.”

Valentino looked at him, smiled sinisterly. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Voxy?”

”...Do _yx-yz-_ you think I said it for _fz-_ fun?”

”Tell me, baby,” he said. “Tell me what you want again.”

Of course. Of course Val would turn it into some weird power play.

Vox snarled, ”To _brx-_ break up with you _lz-_ later, when we’re not _trax-traz-_ trapped in an elevator.”

He clicked his tongue. “That’s not it, baby—tell me. Come on.” Of course. _Of course_. “Here, I’ll tell you what I want, Voxy: I want you to _beg me_.”

His tone was flat. “You’re _fx-_ fucking _jz-_ joking.”

”I’m not, baby.” Even now, he looked amused, but Velvet could tell he was serious. “I want you to beg. Beg me and I’ll kiss you and we’ll be dating again.”

Vox crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head. “It’s not _wx-wz-_ worth it, Vel—I’m so _sx-_ sick of these _mz-_ mind games, I’m not _dx-_ doing that.”

Maybe it was childish, but she balled her fists and pouted anyway. “But Vox!”

”It’s not that hard, baby,” Val grinned. “You did it for me last night, remember?” ...Vox might have been blushing, those blue lines on his screen beneath his eyes might have been his screen’s equivalent of a blush. “You were so cute last night, so pretty when you pleaded with me—you really do look good on your knees, you know that, baby?”

Vox’s hands curled into fists and for a moment, he was silent. “...Please, _Vx-Vz-_ Val.”

”Please, what? Come on, Voxy—use your words. Swallow your pride and use your words, you know I always give you what you want.”

”... _Plx-Plz-_ Please kiss me.”

There was a beat. “No,” Valentino said.

”Oh my fuck, Val,” she shouted.

”What?” He turned back to Vox, grin sharpened with something that looked like a disturbing mix between hunger and that one look in his eye he always had when he was thinking about where exactly he wanted to hit Vox. “That was barely begging anyways—plus, I’m sick of you. I think we do need a break, Vox.”

”Are you _fucking_ kidding me?” She asked. “What the fuck is wrong with the two of you?”

”We’re over after _thix-_ this, _Vz-_ Val,” Vox hissed. “For _rx-rz-_ real this time.”

”Oh, yeah, baby? It’s okay—I’ll let you take that back when you come back to me three weeks from now.” He licked his teeth, took a step closer to Vox—Velvet’s stomach churned. Didn’t Val get that he was so much bigger than her and Vox? Val wasn’t too strong—honestly, for his height and size he was probably less strong than average, but that probably still had him even slightly stronger than them—and Vox just about _never_ hit back! Just once, he wanted Vox to hit back, maybe they’d stop picking fights with each other if they just beat each other up once. “I’ll get your favorite wine and everything, Voxy.”

”You _sx-_ say that,” he started. _“Bx-Bz-_ But last night, _yz-_ you came to _me.”_

”You gonna block me on Voxtagram again, darlin’?” He asked.

”I _nx-nz-_ never unblocked you.”

Velvet saw the first blow coming—a crash, and then Val’s fist was in Vox’s screen and a series of fractures and cracks over his features, staring at Valentino in shock, like he never saw this coming, like he could never imagine his boyfriend would hit him.

 _I’m under my bed,_ she thought, drawing her arms around herself and leaning further into the corner. _I’m under my bed, wrapped up in blankets, listening to pop, safe and sound._

She shut her eyes, tried to block out their shouting. Val threatened to hit him again. Vox caught one of his wrists, but Val had more arms than him. They were yelling, arguing.

It didn’t feel like she was hearing them anymore, she had the worst sense of deja vu, the type she always got when they argued like this, the sickening kind that came from being in the middle of their fights.

Val put a hand over the side of his screen, turning his head forcefully, like he wanted to snap Vox’s neck—Velvet caught a glance at the cracks on his screen, his one eye (the one that was usually more animated than the other) just about completely gone, and that snapped her out of her petrifaction. **_“JESUS FUCK, VAL, STOP!”_**

He froze—Vox pulled himself away and leaned back against the wall, almost instantly deflating with his relief, but he ahdn’t looked scared a minute ago. “What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” Velvet demanded. “Val, apologize.”

He scoffed and crossed both pairs of his arms. “C’mon, Vel, you know—“

” **No.** ” She gestured to Vox. “Apologize to Vox for being a dick—and Vox, quit acting like a little bitch over this.”

Valentino muttered something that did sound faintly like an apology. “I’m _so_ fucking **sick** of watching the two of you bicker like this—it’s pointless, because we all know that you love each other enough to make up after every fight and get back together, so what’s the point in fighting anyway?” She shot Vox a withering look. “Unblock him. Now.”

”No,” Vox said. “Why _wx-wz-_ would I?”

”Because we both know you did it to piss him off more than because you wanted to stop talking to him—now pull out your phone and unblock him before I lasso a fucking Exterminator from Heaven, drag them back down here, peel their wings off of them so they can’t get away, and sic them on you once Stockholm syndrome kicks in enough to make them do my bidding.”

It was the most colorful threat she could come up with—and it was effective. Wordlessly, Vox pulled out his phone and unblocked Val before standing there and staring at his feet lamely—like a scolded child.

”Okay.” She turned to Valentino. “Get the fuck over there and kiss your boyfriend.”

”I’m pretty sure we’re broken up at this point, babydoll,” he said.

”No,” Velvet told him. “You’re not—now get over there and kiss him before I pull your limbs off of your body one by one and shove them down your fucking throat.”

Valentino looked at her—then took a step towards Vox and kissed him sweetly over the mouth. “ _Thank you_ ,” she said. “Was that so hard?”

”... _Yx-Yz-_ Yeah,” Vox said.

”You’re terrifying,” Val told her.

”Good!” She shouted. “If I need to terrify the two of you to get you guys to quit fighting like _children,_ then I’m going to terrify you! I will start carrying a holy blade around, don’t you act like I won’t!”

They all lapsed back into silence—it was much better than the two of them trying to kill each other. After a moment, she noticed the two of them holding hands, and could actually relax—they really did make a cute couple. It’d be difficult for them to make a cute couple like this if she tore them to pieces.

...Unless she stitched the two of them together, conjoining the two of them together so they’re breakups would never be a problem.

She filed that idea away for later—they’d be okay for now.

After a moment, the doors to the elevator opened. “Oh,” she said. “...Looks like we’re out now.”

She stepped off and sighed, fixing her pigtails before turning back to the elevator—in those ten seconds she had turned away, the two of them had already started making out. “Are you fucking kidding me,” she said, but either of them answered.

One of Val’s hands was on the side of Vox’s screen again, but was being much more gentle, and two of his other hands were holding onto his waist, while Vox’s arms were around his neck.

They held each other with a sweetness that rivaled the one that enveloped every room they walked in when they first started dating—it had been adorable, Vox’s dorky little smiles whenever Valentino complimented him, the fact that Val always looked happy to hold his hand and kissed it every time he grabbed it.

She decided that this was in inconvenience, but she was alright with it. At least they were together.

And for the moment, the two of them looked happy. That was enough for her.


End file.
